Hormones

Now men will NEVER EVER understand what it is to be pregnant. I am not talking about the fact of getting bigger or things like that. What I am talking about is the mood swings, being emotional, not feeling attractive ect. As of tomorrow I will be 18 weeks pregnant (I'm not sure yet but did i mention that I am 95% sure its a boy? I already call him Justin) and I have gone through it all morning sickness, bad skin, a lot of weight gain hemorrhoids and the #1 thing moodiness. Now the most recent episode was 2 days ago....Junior got this fish tank that you hang on the wall (if I remember I will take a picture and post it). I was not a fan of it at first but now that it is finally up its nice. Anyway we were driving around getting some things so that it could be put up and some other things that you put inside a fish tank (this is his project). Either way I don't think that we ate breakfast that morning or if we did...but either way i was getting tired of driving around and going in all of these stores (he spent 30 min talking to a lady about fish) and we were both getting hungry, we agreed on Wendy's.
We got our food and Junior looked at his sandwich and threw it back in the bag (I guess because he was driving). So i proceeded to take the sandwich out and fix it so he could eat and drive and also told him I don't like when he slams things down which lead to a response of "so what". Any other day it would not matter what he said I would of gave him his sandwich and then go on to eat my food. But then "i take so long to do everything (i hear that a lot from him). In my head I'm thinking I'm starving (he probably is too but that's not the point lol) and i go to fix your food before my own and then you say that!!!!! I went off i threw my bag of food down in the car and as we sit in the Wal Mart parking lot (had to buy something else for the damn fish before we could go home so i could sleep) and proceeded to yell and scream at him with outburst of crying in between not to mention that he feeds off of that stuff so he laughs and provokes a bit. Then i felt a bit embarrassed and VERY hungry and wanted him to go inside by himself and go buy the stupid light for the tank so I could eat in peace....After reflecting on my behaviour I came to the conclusion that I was just overly hungry and tired and hormonal (you will hear that word a lot)....After all of that I came home and went straight to bed for like 2-4 hrs while he played with the tank. I think that's it for now

In the Beginning

In the beginning there was me....I was born April 3 feels like eons ago....forward to now I have 2 1/2 yrs of college under my belt (I'm pursuing nursing) however I am taking an unwanted break. My grandmother raised my sis (18 months younger) and myself. My mother and father were around however my mom passed 1 1/2 ago R.I.P. and my dad is around (if u call it that). My sis and I were not getting on too well and the end result my grandmother went with the tough love route with me...ie. MOVE OUT!!!!!....Now picture this she raised me very well. I'm well educated bright ect. and I had all intentions of moving out but AFTER I graduated. What was I gonna do???!!! At the time I was working as a live in nanny on the UES which was cool and a whole experience in itself (maybe a story for another day), however rent in NYC was not gonna work off of that salary. Time to find a new job. I started looking in August of last year and by the end of Sept. I had a job (pretty good considering the economy) in telecommunications.

During this time well a little before then in the beginning of last year I met a man we will call Junior. OMG!!!! I was in love...he is tall, bright eyes and has the weirdest laugh,did i mention that he was 10 yrs my senior which i found to be oh so sexy (I'm into older guys).....I just adored him I knew he was gonna be around for a while. So months pass by and I move out of my place and we move into a little basement apartment. Now I have dated other guys before but no one told me that living with one would be such an....experience. It took about 2 months for me to get used to sharing a space with Junior and everything that came along with it. Now the apartment we had was gratefully a roof over our head however by no means was it decent. No matter how hard i tried it would be nothing more than something to look back on a laugh at, but a blessing none the less.
Junior and I were in love I adored him so and I felt like he was a part of me. Of course we wanted better and turned out after some time we were going to start a family. We found a GREAT apartment in the tri-state area still letting me be close to my family and him close to his. (please excuse the out of order with my blog, bare with me while I get used to it). Right before I moved due to "lack of experience" I no longer had my telecommunications job. Now here I am pregnant (about 3 months) moving into a great apartment which of course is more than what we were paying in our old place and I am out of a job. Its so depressing because it seems the closer you get to your goals there is always something that seems to make it that much harder.

One of my goals before my baby is born is to get back in tune with my faith because I know that with out HIM I would not be here today. In the new apartment for maybe 2 weeks or so going on interviews and temp agencies and no result. Then I was checking Craigs list for the umpteenth time along with career builder ect. and I got a call back that sounded promising. Another customer service telecommunications type job. Went in for the intervoew and was hired 2 Days later!!!!! Full time same pay as the last job I had and did I mention it was 5 min drive from where I live. Not that I have MY own car but thanks to Junior's mom for now I can get back and forth. One more minor set back....like 2 weeks in to the new job "economy" issues cause them to put me to part time hours. But I am so grateful that they did not fire me which is something they could of done. Hopefully they will hire me back on a full time basis or i can find a full time job in addition to this one.

OK I think that sums it up to present time....I hope you enjoy the rest......